“It’s not my fault” is the catch cry of victimhood.
We’ve all been there at some point in our lives. At least I have…
Wallowing in denial. Making excuses. Blaming other people, entities or events. Believing it’s out of my control to improve my situation. And even worse: Believing somebody else is responsible for improving my situation… “Only they can save me”.
It can become a dark prison – difficult to break free.
What’s also difficult, is being on the other side. Watching someone you care about stuck in that space.
And when we’re in it, we can be challenging to help. Can become defensive, and go to great lengths to avoid acknowledging the truth:
We alone hold the key = Accepting Personal Responsibility.
Because let’s face it. That’s a scary thought at first. Interpreted through the victim mindset we can turn it into ‘Self Blaming’… “It’s all my fault… see… there’s the proof… I’m no good.” = A self-esteem sucking depressive whirlpool.
The longer we’re in that mindset, the more we give away our personal power. The less likely we are to improve ourselves. The more vulnerable we are to being lead down the wrong path. To be taken advantage of by others with their own agendas… Continuing the victim cycle.
Yet through a different lens, accepting the truth of personal responsibly gives us power.
The power to help ourselves. To positively influence our future outcomes by improving our knowledge, decisions and actions. Which in turn gives us the power of growing self-confidence. Seeing the rewards of our efforts. “We can make a difference”. Also, when we’ve worked for something, we tend to appreciate & enjoy those rewards all the more = A positive self-esteem building feedback loop.
We are also much less likely to be lead astray by quick fixes, shiny objects or charlatans promising to save us.
Although what can be demoralising, is when we do accept responsibility, we do improve ourselves. But are NOT rewarded. Or even worse, when we are punished for making better decisions.
I see these scenarios play out every day in real estate.
Many home sellers believe that “Agent’s ‘SELL’ houses”… That they ‘need’ an agent to sell… That the agent is responsible for their property selling or not.
These beliefs keep them stuck with the status quo. It gives their power away to the commission-driven industry. Often needlessly stripping them of tens of thousands of dollars.
So if you want to sell your property and you want to improve your final outcome? Here is some tough love:
You are responsible.
You hold the power in real estate. Not the agent. Not the buyers. You.
Ultimately only you decide if your property ‘Sells’ or not.
You alone are in control of the two most important variables: The quality of your property’s presentation and your price expectations.
After all, even the worlds slickest salesperson and no amount of fancy gimmicks or advertising are going to coerce someone into paying an over the top price for a poorly presented property.
For the record, you are also responsible for the third important variable: Who (if anyone) you engage to help you sell.
Which is a stumbling block for many genuine sellers. They may understand the first two of the three steps to maximising their net sale proceeds. They work hard to get their presentation spot on. They price realistically. And because of that, their property sells for a top price, in less time, with less work & outgoing costs needed by the agent.
But even though they’re dream clients for the agent, even though they ultimately made the sale happen more efficiently … they still have to pay a full commission. They have to pay the same % as their neighbour, who wallowed on the market for months, needing 2—4x more work & costs for the agent.
So who is being rewarded here?
The non-sellers. Those who chose not to accept responsibility. Who ultimately choose not to sell at fair market value. Who wallow for months wasting other peoples time, money & effort. Then withdraw from market…
They pay nothing. ZERO.
While the agent loses all the time effort & money they spent working for them. Which is why the genuine sellers have to pay full commission. To offset the losses from the non-sellers. They’re punished for making smarter decisions. Which sucks.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Again, accept responsibility. You alone are responsible for how you engage your agent. You can either lay down and accept (put up with) the status quo… The way it is…
Or take control and engage an agent on your terms. In a way that’s better for you. That rewards you for your better decisions.
Power or victimhood.
Like in all areas of our lives, those are our choices. Own them.
PS. If you are interested in improving your knowledge. In becoming more aware of exactly how to positively influence your net sale proceeds – you can watch the first module of our Home Seller’s Seminar 100% free (No name or email address required). Here’s the link: Home Seller’s Seminar
PSS. If you’re an agent disillusioned with how our industry works. If you’re sick & tired of the self-serving sales culture. Sick of being labelled a lowly salesperson. Sick of watching your genuine clients get punished by our industry model… guess what? You are also responsible. You can continue to be one of the broken systems disciples, or consciously make a positive difference in your clients’ lives. If you’re interested to know more about how we’re doing that – reach out. Let’s talk.